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Condoms - Men - Abortion
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Reducing the number of abortions in this
country Is that simple!
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We at Life and Liberty for Women
are livid!!
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Enough is enough!
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| "Just don't ever say that
the reproductive rights of a woman were violated
by the lack of an opportunity for abortion. That
woman still has the right of choice. She can say
'no' and really mean it. She can demand sex with
protection, which in this day and age is only sensible
to start with." |
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| Who expressed that bit
of "wisdom"? A man of course. He expressed that
opinion in the Loveland Colorado Newspaper, The
Reporter Herald, on January 26, 2001. Life and Liberty
for Women responded to that fool. |
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| "What audacity he showed
in his January 26 letter in which he admonished
women about their responsibility in the sex act
instead of showing the courage of his convictions
and admonishing those of his own sex. |
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| How many young boys weekly
does he teach about controlling their raging male
hormones and that respecting the word no, the first
time it is uttered by a girl is an absolute must?
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| How many young men have
seen him demonstrate how to put on a condom? How
many have heard him say that withdrawing right after
intercourse is the best protection from leakage?
How many young men have heard him insist they take
their partner to a clinic right away to get the
morning after pill if there was leakage or if the
condom breaks, and be prepared to pay half of the
cost? |
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if used consistently and correctly by men,
condoms are 98% effective in preventing pregnancy
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| Does he understand that
condoms are a male contraceptive that presents no
side effects and can be bought over the counter?
Does he understand that if used consistently and
correctly by men, condoms are 98% effective in preventing
pregnancy and therefore men could, apart from their
female partner, prevent thousands upon thousands
of abortions? Why should any woman have to demand
sex with protection, every man should be offering
nothing less than sex with protection, which, as
he said, "in this day and age is only sensible to
start with." |
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| Here's his response to
that challenge which appeared in the same newspaper
on February 6, 2001. |
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| "Do I teach young men
how to use condoms? Contrary to the preaching of
some, I most definitely try to get young people,
of both genders, to practice abstinence until they
are old enough to know, understand and practice
their responsibilities. Why should any woman have
to demand sex with protection? If I was a single
woman, no male would get anywhere near me without
protection. Yes, for the sake |
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| of the young lady, I recommend
demand. The young male should find another time
and place to practice his sport, if he isn't ready
to be a man and respect the word 'no,' or the wishes
for protection." |
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WHAT???
SAY WHAT??!!
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| He never answered my challenge!
That's a man for you! That's macho for you! Phil
Donohue, former TV talk show host and recent supporter
and spokesperson for Ralph Nader in his 2000 Presidential
bid, described men like this best when he bemoaned
the fact that it's men - white men - who are on
TV, radio, newspapers, etc., pontificating - oh
how I like the sound of that word - pontificating
about women's reproductive rights and abortion.
It sounds like a man thing - a man's word, doesn't
it? |
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| That word is defined as:
To speak or act in a pompous or dogmatic way. That
is expressing an opinion in an arrogant manner.
Oh boy does that ever fit here!! |
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Phil Donohue described men like this best
when he bemoaned the
fact that it's men - white men - who are on TV, radio, newspapers,
etc.,
pontificating about women's reproductive rights and abortion.
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| Here's my final response
to this arrogant pompous fool: |
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| In his two recent letters,
Jerry defines reproductive choice as a choice to
have protected sex or not, excluding abortion as
a reproductive choice, saying that's the way his
generation understood its meaning, but that's not
true. Reproductive choice always has and always
will include but go beyond the moment of having
sex for women for obvious reasons. A man, who doesn't
correctly use a condom and impregnates a woman,
can just walk away and often does. But a woman still
has choices to make about whether she'll continue
her pregnancy and parent or whether she'll continue
her pregnancy and give up her child, or whether
she'll not reproduce at that time in her life and
terminate her pregnancy. Consequently, the right
of women to reproduce or not is indeed violated
by a lack or denial of an opportunity to access
legal and safe abortion services. |
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| In Jerry's February 6
letter he continued his end run around a male's
responsibility to know how and use every time he
chooses to have sex, a condom, without being demanded
to do so by a partner. Jerry's continual evasion
of his |
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| own responsibility in making that
the rule and not the exception is typical but unconscionable.
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Jerry and I need not spar any further. It's clear
from this exchange that he's not being intellectually
honest about the very intimate and inseparable
bond between reproductive choice and abortion
that exists and always has. Nor, sadly, is he
being intellectually honest about his own gender's
responsibility, totally apart from a woman's,
for pregnancy prevention. Real men will admit
that abortion must exist as a safe and legal reproductive
choice for women because men continue to choose
to have sex without correctly using a condom.
Sincerely,
Peggy Loonan,
Founder, Executive Director,
Life and Liberty for Women
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| This exchange is very telling. |
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| And it's about time we turned up the
heat on men - particularly men who have such arrogance
as to pontificate about abortion when the entire
power to reduce the million plus abortions a year
lies within their own hands. |
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Reproductive choice always has and always
will include but go beyond
the moment of having sex for women because a man who doesn't
correctly
use a condom and impregnates a woman, can just walk away and
often does.
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| There's no argument to
be made with these facts: |
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| Condoms are only effective
when used consistently and correctly. (U.S. Centers
for Disease Control, CDC 1997) |
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| Condoms are 98% effective
in preventing pregnancy when used correctly. (J.
Trussell "Contraceptive Failure in the United States:
An Update," Studies in Family Planning, Jan/Feb,
1990) |
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| Condoms are up to 99.9%
effective in reducing the risk of STD transmission
when combined with spermicidal. (P.Kestelman and
J.Trussell "Efficacy of the Simultaneous Use of
Condoms and Spermicides," Family Planning Perspectives,
Sept/Oct., 1991) |
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| Studies of hundreds of
couples show that consistent condom use is possible
when sexual partners have the skills and motivation.
(CDC, April 1997) |
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Correct Use of Condoms
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| 1. Store condoms in a
cool place out of direct sunlight (not in wallets
or glove compartments). Latex will become brittle
from changes in temperature, rough handling or age.
Don't use damaged, discolored, brittle, or sticky
condoms. |
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| 2. Check the expiration
date. |
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| 3. Carefully open the
condom package - teeth or fingernails can tear the
condom. |
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| 4. Use a new condom every
time a person has sexual intercourse. |
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| 5. Put on the condom after
the penis is erect and before it touches ANY part
of a partner's body. If a penis is uncircumcised,
the person must pull back the foreskin before putting
on the condom. |
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| 6. Put on the condom by
pinching the reservoir tip and unrolling it all
the way down the shaft of the penis from head to
base. If the condom |
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| does not have a reservoir
tip, pinch it to leave a half-inch space at the
head of the penis for semen to collect after ejaculation. |
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| 7. Withdraw the penis
immediately if the condom break during sexual intercourse
and put on a new condom before resuming intercourse.
When a condom breaks, use spermicidal foam or jelly
and speak to a health-care provider about emergency
contraception or the "morning after pill." |
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| 8. Use only water-based
lubrication. Do not use oil-based lubricants such
as cooking/vegetable oil, baby oil, hand lotion
or petroleum jelly - these will cause the condom
to deteriorate and break. |
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| 9. Withdraw the penis
immediately after ejaculation, while the penis is
still erect,grasp the rim of the condom between
the fingers and slowly withdraw the penis (with
the condom still on) so that no semen is spilled.
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Now I ask you,
What is so difficult about explaining that?
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| What's so hard about men
demonstrating that for their sons or young men whose
fathers aren't around or refuse to teach them this
crucial information? |
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| You know - women teach
their daughters and other young girls about their
bodies and we often must demonstrate the use of
tampons. We are expected to do so because we are
their mothers or because we are women and it's a
woman's thing. |
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| Well - condoms are a man
thing and men need to be learning how to use them
and teaching young men how to use them. |
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| About 3 years ago I was
debating an anti-abortion extremist, a young man
with four children. I said that, "When used consistently
and correctly, condoms are 98% effective in preventing
pregnancy - so if every man wore a condom every
time they had sex - married or not - guess how many
"babies" (and abortions) we would not be talking
about." |
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| He laughed and said that
all four of his children were conceived as a result
of condom failure. I have no idea if that was true
or not, but I said, "Well you'll have to come to
one of our clinics so we can teach you how to use
a condom correctly and we can start with a banana."
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| His face turned red and
he had little to say after that on the subject.
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| My husband and I have
used a condom since our, now 10 year old daughter
was born. I have not become pregnant. |
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| Men - it's time you shut
up or put up! |
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| Totally separate from
a female partner, you have a responsibility to prevent
pregnancy every time you have sex and fatherhood
is not the ultimate desired outcome. |
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| Stop laying this entire
responsibility onto your female partner. |
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| She shouldn't have to
demand sex with protection, you should be offering
nothing less than sex with protection!!! |
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The number of abortions in this country
would decrease by hundreds
of thousands if men consistently and correctly used a condom
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| The number of abortions
in this country would decrease by hundreds of thousands
if men consistently and correctly used a condom
themselves and if they taught every young man, not
just about abstinence and respecting the word "no"
the moment it is uttered by a woman - but if men
would demonstrate to these young men how to correctly
use a condom. That's the test of a real man, isn't
it? A real man would put fetal life above all else
- including his own sexual pleasure - Now wouldn't
he? Well - he would wouldn't he? For all the blubbering,
finger waving and preaching anti-abortion men do,
they don't seem to be able to face the truth - that
is that they - apart from a partner - could stop
nearly all abortions in this country - that is if
fetal life is as precious as they claim it is. |
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Men
It's that simple! |
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Peggy Loonan,
Founder, Executive Director
Life and Liberty for Women
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